I'm a Liar

So recently I lied, to the DMV.

It was totally a little white lie, so that shouldn’t really count for anything. R i g h t?

Besides, I have a really good reason for my lie.


My birthday is in January. Around here that means brrrr freakin freeze your ass off cold. That also means winter coats. That also means some pasty ass white skin.
Sooooooo not attractive.


Every time I need to renew my drivers license, it is in January. Boo Hiss.
When I totally look like shit. So I decided this time I wasn't going to wait till I looked like shit to renew my license.


I decided that I was going to tell them I lost my license so I could get a new photo. Now, when I look good/healthy.
In my awesome cute summer clothes.
Not my big ass freakin winter coat.


Am I a freakin genius or what?


I shared this news with the sportsman and my mother, well they just didn’t get it. My mother said that made me some what of a narcissist.


Um, No? Why?


Just cause I don’t want to look all jacked up on my license, that by the way I have to carry around for 6 damn years (before you can renew again). What the hell is wrong with that?


So a couple of weeks ago the sportsman and I took a day off together. That is when I decided that I would run up to the DMV.


I have to admit I was a little bit nervous. I went in, took a number and waited till I was called. It wasn’t all that busy. Which is always good. Plus if you’re into “people watching”, you can see some very interesting/strange sights at the Department of Motor Vehicles.


So I finally get called up, I give me speal about losing my license. She says its $12, I’m cool with that. $12 is worth it to have a kickass new photo.


Then she says the dreaded words.
They don’t do re-takes on a lost license only on renewals , unless your appearance has drastically changed.
WTF?
I totally began to sweat bullets. Cause now I am not ok with paying $12 for a second photo of the shit picture I already have.
She says in order to take a new photo they would have to override the freakin system. That seems a little drastic. Are you freakin kidding me? Am I on candid camera here?


So I mention to the women that my weight is wrong, and the fact that I have lost 15lbs. Which to me is a drastic change in my appearnce.
My hair used to be brown, now it's blonde. So the nice women tells me, lets take a look at your old photo and see.
I glance over at the sportsman, and he is giving me the look of "what the hells up"?
I am now seriously sweating bullets at this point. I could feel sweat in the crack of my ass, in my arm pits, and my hands are all clamy.


I seriously do not want a second license with the same damn horrible photo on it.


So for whatever reason I convience this women that I look different enough that she would “override” the system and let me take a new photo for my replacement license.


Whew! That was a close one.


Now I’m not saying that my new one is all kickass or anything but, It is pretty damn hot. Just sayin.


Since then I have been taking a bunch of crap from my entire family about my “new” drivers license.

That is just wrong.

Where is my freakin support people?