The WHITE Pants Phobia

The other day a friend of mine and I were hangin out. When I commented on how cool her white pants were.



I mentioned to her about how I would never ever wear white pants myself.

N E V E R

I do have one pair of white running shorts, but that is it. I don’t hardly ever wear them either.


She found that very strange  odd, that I did not own any white pants. Or that I had such an issue with them.


During our conversation she tells me that she thinks I have a white pants phobia. WTF?


Is there such a thing?
I know there are millions of phobias out there. but one about white pants? Seriously.
That is probably google worthy, No?


I do love how white pants look, so crisp and clean. I just don’t like them on me.


I have this fear that they will get dirty somehow (like period blood-ewwwwww ). And then people will stare and make fun of me. I would feel compelled to be checking out my pants all day long for dirt or some kinda of shit. Thats the overly anal part of me coming out.
Now that is just too freakin stressful for me.


Soooooo I just n e v e r wear them.
Yes, I realize this sounds completely irrational.


Now that I have realized I have a “white pants” phobia, it made me think about all the other shit I am kinda sorta weird about. Like:
Spiders
Heights
Germs
Water


The more I thought about this list, the more I sounded like a complete and total FREAK!        Me a F R E A K!
Are you fucking kidding me? That means I am s p e c i a l.
Not even the good kind of special but the “Special Ed” kinda special.


Which made me wonder if anyone else has noticed this strangness about me. And if they have why the hell haven't they said anything about it. hmmmmmmmmmm?


Please tell me that someone else out there has strangeness about them.

Don’t leave me hangin people!