Mid Life

When I think of the word “Mid Life” I normally think of a 50 something man, who all of sudden goes out and buys a sports car, starts working out, goes tanning, and starts dressing trendy.

I suppose the womens version is called a cougar. (but aren’t those just a single older woman who just hits on younger guys?)

 I am most definitely not one of those.

Recently the sportsman has accused ME of going thru a “Mid Life Crisis”.


WTF? Are you fucking serious? I’m pretty sure I am not having a Mid Life Crisis right now.


Hello? Yes, I am 41. Yes, I am a freak about going to the gym. Yes, I have been out to the freakin bars a little bit more lately. Yes, I am on my phone a lot more.


As of yet, I have not gone out and bought a new sporty car, and I have not changed the way I dress. I also don’t find myself to be overly attractive so it’s not like I am out strutting my stuff.


In my defense, I have always gone to the gym; it is an obsession of mine and has been for years. Being 41 doesn’t automatically mean your going thru a freakin Mid Life Crisis.

Hitting the bars really isn’t anything either. I have always been social, this is nothing new to the sportsman.


Mostly I have been at the bar lately because I have been meeting up with alot old friends from H.S. As for my phone, I recently bought a new iphone, so I am on all kinds of things. Can anyone say "APP's"! I can be on the phone checking those out all day long and I hardly text people unless it's family.


None of those to me are signs that I am going thru any type of freakin crisis.


If there is any damn crisis to worry about, it is the sportsman not holding up his part of the deal/marriage.


I’m not sure why he is currently freakin out. Is he just looking for something to place blame on? To explain the recent rift in our marriage?


Maybe just freakin maybe the sportsman should look at himself. What the hell. He should be looking at all those damn things I have asked him to work on to help out our marriage.


It took me cutting him off from sex to get his ass to the doctor for crying out loud.


I mean I at least asked him to work on these things versus some relationships where there is no talking at all and it just ends in divorce.


It’s true I have been struggling thru some shit lately. However, the truth behind that is I am concerned about my health. I worry that I will miss out on doing something exciting because of dying too soon. There is so much still I want to do and see. Can you blame me?


So it’s a possibility that I am just trying to enjoy life. Without any freakin rules/structure/routine.

I just want some freedom to do some things that I might miss if I were to die sooner than later is all.


Is that wrong of me? Is it selfish? M a y b e. Should I expect the sportsman to understand?

I don’t fucking know.


I realize there are still plenty of things out there that the sportsman and I can do together and I have been trying to get him involved.


However, there are some things that I just want/need to do alone.

Shouldn’t I be granted that? You know like your last wish or something.