Quick DFW Listoons

I mentioned in a previous post that I had a couple of cool things coming up. Well, the CD design was one of them and here's the other one. Quick (Dallas Morning News' free weekly entertainment paper) has started running original comic strips each week and I happen to be involved. How am I involved you might ask? No, I'm not delivering the papers. Every other week I will be illustrating a strip called "Listoons". Each week is a different list, written by Stacy Austin Sheffield. Not her real name by the way. Not even a "her", by the way. She is a he. And I'm not sure if he wants people to know who he really is. I posed that question to him and got no response. So anonymity it is for now.

Here is Quick's announcement of our strip.

And, on the alternating week, my good friend David Hopkins (who recommended me to the Editor, thanks David) is writing a strip called "We've Never Met", illustrated by Chad Thomas. So, this a really cool project in which to be involved. I'm excited by the prospect of doing these strips for a long time to come. Hopefully, they'll stick around.

I still haven't gotten a chance to pick up my first issue, which is out his week. But when I do, I plan on recreating David's debut photo. Update: Here you go. Be gentle, I'm a little under the weather in this photo...It's nice having my work in newsprint...

Chef's Rival Illustration

Here's an illustration I recently did for my buddy Lauren Melton, who works for a company called US Jesco. It's for a product called "Chef's Rival".

Design for the new Kidd Kraddick CD

Here's some pretty cool news. Well, pretty cool news around the Slayton headquarters. At least the dog thinks it’s cool. And he’s not easily impressed. I teased it in an earlier post…

The other thing is I've just completed a cd packaging design and illustration for a fairly big radio program. They're putting out a cd of comedy bits. Can't say who it's for yet, no I'm not kidding, but it should be out in December. So, more on that later.

The obvious clue was the word “kidding”. Or maybe it wasn’t obvious. Anyway, as the title of this post points out, I recently did the design for the new Kidd Kraddick Kinsey CD, “It’s My Wedding, WTH???” Of course the word “fairly” in the previous post is clearly sarcasm as Kidd Kraddick in the Morning is on in like 80 markets and I believe reaches a couple of million listeners. So, that’s big.

The CD is a collection of routines based on the real life fiancé of one of the on-air guys, J-Si. Her name is Kinsey, and Kidd plays her (via high-pitched auto tune) as a ditzy valley girl obsessed with shoes and all things materialistic.

They announced the release of the CD on the air today. Here is the audio of it. They talked about around a quarter to halfway in. Kidd Kraddick audio from 11.24.09 Hour 2

It’s available for purchase here:
iTunes | Amazon | Bandwear | emusic

The color on the online artwork at these stores looks a little off (too bright and neon) because I think it got uploaded as CMYK and not RGB. The image I posted above is what it really should be. And here is what the rest of the package looks like. BTW, "smrt" and "presents" are purposely spelled incorrectly and I didn't take the photo or design her logo (credit where credit is due and all).Anyway, it was fun project to work on. I hope to have the actual printed CD in my hands within the next couple of weeks. Thanks to Josh from the show for hiring me to design it, glad everyone liked it.
UPDATE: It was the #1 comedy album on iTunes at one point... From Kidd's site: "One day after its release on Thursday, Kinsey fans created a buying fervor that propelled the CD past three Dane Cook albums to secure itself to first place."

Some Old Stuff

Here are some never-before-seen pages from 2002. I know the art sucks, go easy on me, they're 7 years old. They were for a pitch that Jim "Shades of Blue" Harris had for a Falcon series. Obviously, no one swung at our pitch. Hence there never-before-seen status.

Slickery

I'm sure how to approach this subject, but here it goes.

Just an FYI, this is a real word. I swear,  I use it all the time.  Until recently. One of my friends, thought it would be freakin funny to look it up on "Urban Dictionary", since sometimes all the time they have too much free time on their hands, and because they thought I was making it up. 

Here is what is listed as the definition of my word. 

My first thought was can this be for real? I didn't just make up this word, but I'm pretty sure this isn't the real definition.  They got a huge laugh out of this and it became the office topic for quite awhile. That "W" girl, is such a potty mouth. So not partly true. Well maybe some times.


My bigger concern is how many ppl visit this sight, that have heard me use the word before. Cause I have to say, seriously this is not how I reference this word.


When I use the word slickery, it's to described things like:


the road was slickery;
those pants you have on look slickery;
my glass is slickery on the outside;
those shoes look slickery;


However, now that my friends have learned of the "Urban Dictionary" definition they give me crap all the time. 


I have now been reduced to not even using the word anymore. So it has now been put out to pasture.

Lunch

Frosen Lunches- The dieter’s choice.

There are a million of them to chose from (yes, I like the word Million, it means “a lot”.)

Everyone is eating them.

Men and Women. When I go to heat up my lunch(at wk), and I’m standing in line, I normally check out what ppl are eating(cause I’m interested nosy like that), and I have noticed that there are just as many men that are eating the Lean Cuisine, Kashi, Weight Watchers, and Healthy Choice, lunches.

What, no more “Hungry Man” lunches? When did this freakin happen? I know that my husband personally doesn’t eat fatty crap for lunch. He eats like a bird & goes to the gym, and not just because Thanksgiving is coming up. I know it, shut the front door!!!! Can you believe it.

However, he never takes any of the “healthy frozen lunches” either, he always makes his own stuff(he is self sufficient like that). I’m sure he also questions really gives a shit about the healthiness coming from these pre boxed frozen lunches.

Now come on, are all these ppl eating these lunches for the possible out come of losing weight or cause its convenient? I’m thinking that it’s more about convenience! For real, we are talking about men here. If it looks like a turd, and it smells like a turd, then it’s a freakin turd!

These frozen lunches that are all supposed to be Oh, so healthy for you. I’m not so sure. Here’s what I think. The ones that taste like cardboard crap are the ones that are probably the healthiest for you. The ones that taste Oh, so yummy, are the ones that are less than healthy for you. That’s my professional opinion.

So what do you think, does it count if you eat a healthy one and then a not so healthy one? Does that cross out any fat that you would have consumed with the unhealthy one? How about if you eat the good tasting one and work out at the gym all week?

Seriously, people wanna know! Ok, so what the heck. I want to know!

I personally do eat them (frozen meals). I am however very selective. I have stomach issues (well really I have many issues) so I try to watch what I buy. I am not one to count calories or check out the fat content. I check out that little nutrition label for other reasons. Which is, to look for the one with the lowest salt. Which makes my lunch selections even more limited and seriously not as tasty.

All this is just all my opinion.

 I’m not a paid critic, for real ppl.

So by all means don’t listen to anything I say.

Go stand by the Window

So, I'm sitting in bed watching TV and texting my mom.  She text's me and says "call your daughter!!".  So I text her back why, whats up?  I sit there for a moment and think well hell, I should just call her(my mom). She did use an exclamation point.  Of course if it was really important then why didn't she just call me, why text?  So I try to call from my cell (because about a month ago we (my freakin husband) decided that it was a waste of money to keep a land line since only 2 ppl ever called us) and I can't get my cell phone to work.  It keeps making this noise.  So I automatically think it is my moms phone, so I try my daughter.  Nope phone still doesnt work.  So I get my husbands cell phone(after I hunt down a sanitizer wipe to clean off his phone, who freakin knows where his hands have been), and it works so I call my daughter.  Of course shes huffy, cause she says she has been trying to call me for an hour 5 minutes. Let me just tell you that when I try to call my daughter and she doesn't answer, it's no big deal. But if she tries to call me and I don't pick up, all hell brakes loose.  Long storey short it wasn't any emergency , she just had something to tell me while she was on her brake at work.  So I call my mother back, still on my husbands cell, cause I had to shut my poc(piece of crap, Black Berry) off and take out the battery.

So, I tell my mother that it wasn't an emergency.  She then begins to lecture me about how important it is to keep my phone on at all times, since we don't have a land line anymore(HELLO, like I don't already know this).  Anyways, I tell her that it was on, it's just that something is wrong with it.  Which then she brings up the last time we talked about how the phone kept cutting in and out (which she swears that it's my phone with the problem.) I tell her that it's probably time for me to get a new one.  Reminding her that with technology most cells don't last more than a year or so.  She then argues with me about how long I have had my phone(because her memory is SO much better worse than mine. ) She seems to think that I have only had my phone for 6 months or so, when actually I have had it almost two flippin years. 

Anyways, she says well then when it starts cutting out, I should go stand by the window(again she thinks it's my phone that keeps maulfunctioning). At this point, I start to laugh. I ask her what the heck does standing by the freakin window have to do with anything? By now both of us are laughing so hard and gasping for breath.  I think I might have even peed in my pants. I tell her that I know your not suppose to stand near a window during a lightening storm, and agian ask her what standing by the window is suppose to help with(more uncontrolled laughter). I then ask her if she's sure that it's not her phone and/or her hearing. At this point my husband comes into the room and I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard(which he just ignores, cause he knows how we are). The conversation ended, in me telling her that next time I'm at her house I will make a call from her phone to somone at my house just to show her it isn't my freakin phone!

This is just the life of our wacky family.  The simplest things crack us up.

Injury by Maglight Flashlight

Ok, here is how I almost broke my ankle. Alright, yes I can be some what of a dramatic person at times. But this is for REAL! 

 Anyways, it all started Friday night, well technically it was 4am, so I suppose that makes it saturday at this point. 

 Let me start off with, my husband and I do not sleep in the same rooms.  He has been banned to the spare room, until he goes to an ear/nose/throat doctor because he snores like a damn freight train.  My husband is also like most men out there, which he refuses to go to a doctor any time soon. 

So I wake up alone at 4am, because I am a "mom" and a very light sleeper.  I think I hear a creak in the floor, as if there was someone walking around.  So I sat up in bed, of course my heart feels like it is going to burst out of my flippin chest.  It also felt like hours that I sat there completely silent.  Waiting to see if I could hear any other "sounds" like there was an intruder.  Finally, I decide that I need to go check, as random thoughts go thru my head (in all the horror flicks ppl always go check out the noise, and get killed. What the hell am I thinking?) So I lean over the bed and grab the maglight that I have on the side(btw, everyone in my family has one on the side of their bed.  Does this seem strange? I dont' think so.) So I get out of bed and go down the hall.  I do the traditional, room to room check of the house.  I find nothing!  So as I am going back to bed, down the hall, and as I am climbing over the damn baby gate(which is for my dogs, NOT for a freakin baby) I am lifting my leg over and somehow manage to hit myself in the ankle with the end of the flash light. OMG! it was all I could do not to cry.  Of course then I got angry.  I finally laid back down in bed, after I sat in bed for another 45 minutes waiting and listening. Of course nothing happened, and I finally fell asleep. 

So I tell my husband that morning after he woke up what happened.  He asks me "why was I walking thru the house in the dark" , assuming that I had just the flash light on.  I told him I had all the freakin lights on, the "flash light" was for protection.  He says "from who"? Yourself? ha ha ha, yes LMAO, he thought that was so hilarious. I said no, it was for in case there was an intruder. Again with the laughs.  I honestly did not find it all that funny!

Maybe I should consider getting rid of the maglights in the house, because this is not the first injury in our house due to the "mag light".  The first time I accidentially hit my chiuhuahua in the head with one.  Please ppl it really was an accident. That one landed us at the ER vet, which was #2 time for her. Glad to say that she ended up with just a really bad heahache. Whew! 

Good news is my ankle is NOT broken,

just bruised and I will be fine. 

No sympthy cards will be necessary at this time.

 Thank you

Random Things I think/know/question

1. I really like the saying " Are you freaking serious"?

2. My chiuhuahua has been to the vet & doctor more than any persons pet I have ever known.

3. My kids were closer when it was just the 3 of us.

4. I want to know what the heck was up with the freakin bees this summer?  I know there is something going on!!!!

5.  I have a really tiny car, but for some reason I don't feel small when I'm driving it.

6.  I read alot of great authors, but vary rarely remember what I read. Which means I can read them muliple times.

7.  I want to know if all those ppl who are on reality shows, really think it has helped their lives for the better.

8.  I pray everyday, and I know God is listening to me.

9.  Why do they sell pesticides that are suppose to take care of your "bug" problem, only to take it off the market years later, claiming it to be hazardous to your health?

10.  Do it yourself projects never really work out as well as, if you had just paid a professional to do it.

GPS

I’m not really flippin sure what the initials stand for, but I think I need one. I mean, I know its suppose to tell you where to go, and someone like me (very directionally challenged) definitely needs one.


So I recently mention it to my husband (who BTW seemed very put out that he had leave the comfort of the sofa to come down the hall and see what I wanted, and to find out that it was something he felt was non-important) Anyway, my husbands reply was “you never go anywhere, why do you think you need one”? Which of course is partly true(I am home most nights by 5:30pm and in my P.J.’s by 6:00 and in bed by 6:30 and asleep by 9:00. Come on ppl, I get up at the freakin ass crack of dawn (5:00am) everyday)

So I continued to argue my point with him, that I need it for the times I do go somewhere, so that I don’t get lost and this will also give my friends/co-workers relief that they don’t have to write out directions for me anymore.


What a deal right? He wasn’t buying it.

Maybe, just maybe I don’t ever go anywhere because I’m afraid I might get lost? Knaw, I honestly really don’t go anywhere very often that isn’t my normal route.


I mean how freakin neat is it to have someone talk to you in the car and tell you where to go!!!!!!! I mean I know they are so much more than a just a person talking to you with directions. What I don't get is the flippin price. What the heck? They have been on the market forever, so why are they still so expensive? 

The only other thing I asked for this Christmas was a notebook laptop(the itty bitty tiny ones), and here is the real important reason why I need one of those, so that I can blog while sitting in bed.  Now this might make it sound like I lazy.  But it's the complete opposite, it's just I have a really comfortable bed.

So just maybe, my husband can get a "better than good" deal on one(the GPS). When we hit the stores on Black Friday!

Wish me luck!

Small Update

Just a quick update for anyone who's interested. I've got a couple of pretty cool things, kinda big things, that I'll be announcing soon. If you run in the same comic book circles I do, you might know about one of them already, but I don't like to count my chickens before they hatch. So, I'll talk about it when it happens. The other thing is I've just completed a cd packaging design and illustration for a fairly big radio program. They're putting out a cd of comedy bits. Can't say who it's for yet, no I'm not kidding, but it should be out in December. So, more on that later. I've had a few people ask me about Spookytown. Admittedly, it's been on the back burner with all the freelance stuff I've been working on, but I have be doing a little something on it each day (which was my New Year's resolution) and here is a photo to prove it. Have fun out there.

My Chihuahua

What Makes You Laugh?

Here’s to the word “Shenanigans” (from the movie Super Troopers) which has given my kids and I many great laughs!


My family in general love going to the movies, but my kids and I are super BIG into watching movies. We are constantly joking around and repeating lines from all of our favorite movies. Sometimes TV shows as well.

I’ll never forget the movie Mrs. Doubtfire. Come on everyone has seen it. This movie came out when my son was in grade school. There is this part in the movie where Robin Williams says “papapapapapa Piss off Lou”. My son found this particular line absolutely hilarious. Of course at that age telling someone to piss off seems so funny to a young kid, it was of course not an appropriate/allowed saying in our house. However, since it was a line in the movie, my son was allowed to repeat the “piss off” part of the line at home only. Which you know he repeated it every chance he could, with a follow-up of “ but, mom it was in the movie”. As if that made it all ok. LMAO

Maybe I can laugh at it now, since they are almost grown up.

I have to say that there are a lot of kids shows/movies out there like Sponge Bob that have a lot of adult humor in them, that go way over most kids heads (and some adults to (LOL). Now that my kids are older they finally get some the adult humor in the shows we have been watching for years.

Over the years there have been many many movies that we have watched and laughed together. Some of them with the most hilarious lines ever.  Of course not everyone gets "funny".  Like the movie "Step Brothers" with Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly.  I personally think it is the freaking funniest movie, but for people who don't have a humerous bone in their body.  Well......... they just don't get it.


In almost every conversation, someone at my house is repeating one of those funny lines, from one of the million bazillion shows we have seen together that made us all laugh. What a great feeling to laugh out loud. There is nothing better than sharing a funny moment with the ones you love. You know, the kind of ”funny” that makes you laugh so hard that you cry. (of course we have those laugh till you cry moments around my family all the time, that have nothing to do with watching a movie. I guess we are just "special" wink wink)

I’m happy that we have those funny “inside jokes” moments. It's one of the things that makes us so close.

I’ll leave you now with a quote from a TV show, that I hate but my kids like.

Family Guy- The episode where Stewie realizes he loves his mom soooo much and wants to spend all his time with her and so he keeps saying over and over ” Mom, Mom, Mom, mommy, mommy, mommy, momma, momma, momma” all the time.

Now if that isn’t freakin annoying I don’t know what is, but my kids seem to think this is Oh, so funny to repeat to me over and over around our house.  Thanks so much “Stewie”!

So what movie moment makes you laugh out loud?

When I DIE

Recently when I was emailing my mother, (which I do, like a million times a day) She is my personal spell checker, so I asked her how to spell the word cremation, because I was writing a new blog and it didn’t look like it was spelled the right way(you know how that happens some times). Anyways, later in the evening she called me(we also talk every night, in between each show we are watching, to discuss how we feel about what we just saw.  Seem like a little much? Sometimes.) on my cell phone and asked me why, I wanted to know how to spell cremation.

Let me just rewind here for a moment and say, that my mother just recently found out I blog, however she has never read any of them. So over the cell I try telling her that I was using the word in "a blog" I was writing. During this conversation the phone keeps cutting out and she can’t hear everything I am saying. So she asks me if I am writing about when I die. I'm thinking to myself, how did she get that out of what I just said?  What I was really writing about was when pets die. At this point I’ve bust out laughing because she still doesn’t understand what I am saying (cause her phone is still cutting in and out). So then she wants to know what is so funny.

So I’m like,  “Never Mind”

For those of you who don’t know my mother, she doesn’t have a humorous bone in her body and doesn’t get other peoples humor either. Oh let me add that she is terrible at trying to repeat something humerous that she has heard from someone else.  It's that bad.  So this whole freakin conversation is what sparked me to write about “Cremation”. I know, I guess you just had to be there.

Ok, so here’s why I really want to be cremated when I die. Everyone has a good cremation story. Right? LAMO

No really, I do want to have a funeral. I'm being serious now.  I personally just don’t get the part about being put into a box in the ground. I am more of a "free spirit" kind of person. I can’t imagine my final resting place being in a dark, musty, icky, box in the ground. I know that I won’t really be there, but the whole thought creeps me out. Also I’m not really a big fan of having one place where people have to go to mourn you. It’s easier for someone to forget you. Life gets busy, then there is no time to drive by and visit.

So I have made the decision that I will be cremated and I will be put into two different little containers (not a traditional urn) so, here it comes, that each of my children can have a piece of me with them at all times. I have explained this to them in advance. This way they have a preference if they want to keep me in their home or in their car, they will always have me close to them.

Seems like a great plan to me.

Some might think that discussing with your teenagers what your dying wishes are is morbid. I however don’t see it that way. I think it is important for the ones you love to know how you feel. You never know when its gonna be your day to go.

You know what I mean!

Whose with me for BLACK FRIDAY!

Black Friday

What does that day really mean?

Does it stand for; you’re up at the ass crack of dawn in the dark, waiting in a line with about a million other crazy ppl? I know that not everyone in the world participates in this craziness.

I however am a BIG supporter of ass crack early, with strangers. Come on ppl seriously, who doesn’t love to shop?????


The real key to standing outside in line for hours before the doors open are, Hot Hands, Coffee, Long underwear, and have your significant other stand in line for you while you sit in the car. LMAO

I can also see the other side of this, the side of those ppl who have to flippin work on Black Friday. If it was me, I would say “the hell to the no”. (One of my friend’s favorite lines, so I thought I would borrow it from her  for today's blog.) Cause there is no way you would get me to work behind one of those cash registers on Black Friday, just putting up with peoples crap, (cause honestly, not everyone is pleasant at 5am) and then you add standing on your feet for hours. Does NOT sound like any freakin fun to me!

I always find it just a little exciting. You know the rush of ppl when the doors finally open(at 5AM). You just never know what might happen. I personally am not one of those ppl who push and shove and get all crazy about getting to some particular item that is only on sale for like what 3 hours. But I do like to watch those ppl. I would love to take my camera in with me sometime; I bet I would get some great action shots.

So here’s to all you Black Friday workers,

Hang in there

 and

 be happy

 that it only comes around

one time a year.

Holiday Lawn "ART"

Christmas is one of my sons favorite holidays, well really any holiday that he can put loads and loads of crap all over our lawn.  We just recently got thru taking down all of the Halloween decorations. Now its time to put more crap out!

I made the mistake years ago telling my son that we would buy 1 new thing each year to add to the "holiday" decorations.  As you can guess, now we have way too much crap.  I have to say that at least our house does not,  look like Christmas Vacations, Griswald house yet. But we are getting close. 

So what is the limit of lawn decorations, before its considered "trashy"?  My family is truly the type of family that goes way overboard. It takes us an entire day, just to get all the decorations put up, and that doesn't include the Christmas tree. I'm surprised that our house has never caught fire with all the lights we have.

 So how do you tell your children, no more stuff?  Especially since they get so involved in the holiday spirit. I know soon the kids will be grown up and they probably won't  care anymore. So I should just let this issue lie for now and let them enjoy all those things that will some day be wonderful memories for them. 

Going to the Movies

I don't know about you, but my family goes to the movies alot.  We really enjoy seeing a movie in the theatre when it first comes out.  We have even been known to go early and stand in line for hours before, so that we could get a good seat. On a regular basis, I  make my husband go with me about 30 min prior to the show starting. I know that sounds just a little crazy. But you do what ya gotta do.

Let me remind you that we are not the only ones who show up early to stand in that line, so there are some other "crazies" out there just like us.

However, recently we have had to scale it back a little.  The recent movie and concession stand price increase is ridiculus. Also before they used to let you bring in your own snacks or drinks.  Now they have a sign up prohibiting you to bring anything in.

What I have to say to that, is what they can't see in my purse won't hurt them.  If you get what I mean.

It's not so much that there was a price increase, cause I get it, with the economy issues.  What I however don't get is 3 different prices in one day. What the heck!

So if you only want to pay $5 you have to go to the freakin movies at 10am on a sat or sun, after that noon-5:00pm its $7.50 and after 5:00pm its freakin $10.  People, this is per person. So if you go on a friday night, to lets say a 7:00 show with a family of four you are looking at spending $40, just on tickets alone.  That doesn't even count if you get something from the concession stand.

That is just insane.  Its no wonder "other" places are getting more activity with movie goers. 

It may be the path

we take here in the near future.

How much do you spend on your dog

How much do

you

think is

too much

 to spend on a pet?

I'm not just talking about toys, food, college logo collars &leashes, and sweaters. What I am talking about are vet bills or ER bills. It is a given, if you have a pet that you will be spending money at your local ventenary clinic. How much really depends on multiple things. Like if you have a baby dog/cat, you will have all the "first" time shots, and then there are the sickly/old pets.......Which can be very expensive.

What I'm really trying to get a handle on, is the expense that goes along with an animal that has "issues".  I have two of those! When first chosing these pets, I would have never guessed that I would spend so much money on a DOG.  The good news is, the cost for the medication we have to spend on both dogs is minimal.

So the reason for my question, "How much is too much"  is to try and get a handle on if I am spending too much. If you ask my husband he would say "hell yes, we are spending too much"! Of course only if we were talking about my dog.  If we were talking about his dog, it would be a different storey.

 I won't even bother asking ppl/friends who are non-pet owners, because they just don't get it.

It is pretty sad that I have our dogs ER vet on speed dial, but not the kids doctor. It is equally sad that in the last year we have been to the ER vet 4 times.  I don't know about the ER vet in your area, but mine is automatically $75 to just walk thru the freakin door and things like shots, are some how OMG triple the cost.(I mean serisously, what am I really paying for? )

Heres a tip for you, if you end up having to put a pet to sleep, don't pay the vet to cremate them, just ask to take the pet home.  That will save you tons of money.  Seriously, after your pet is dead who wants to shell out another $100 for them to take care of the remains???? NOT FREAKIN ME!!!!!

Which brings up a whole other topic.  When your pet dies, what are you supposed to do with their body?  I hear that your not suppose to bury them in your yard? Is that true? Cause I currently have several in my yard.

1 dog
1 cat
1 gerbel
1 ferrett

This has been over an 8 year period, I don't want anyone to think that we frequently have animals dying off at my house.  That would just be creepy.

So how else do you have a funeral for your pet if you don't bury them in your yard?  I mean, really I love my dogs alot, but I am not going to pay to have a grave for them at some freakin pet cemetary.

SO

 what are you willing to spend

on your pet

in a

 life or death situation?

Collectables

Everyone has them.

You know you do.

Whether you started the collection yourself

or someone else started it for you.

You have one.

I personally have started multiple collections for my mother. Which by the way, she has asked me to STOP with the collecting of crap. (It's not really crap)


You know there are a million different things out there that you can collect, but I just don’t want the clutter in my house. What blows my mind is the things people find “collection” worthy. I have a friend at my old job who collects frogs and boy does she have a shit load of frogs. At what point do you say “what the heck”? I wanna know, is there a freakin No. that you reach that you finally say “hey, I think I might have too many freakin “frogs” or is it after you have a whole damn room full and you cant even walk in it that you decide you have too much??


You know you can even get into the Guinness book of world records with a collection.


I personally only have 1 collection, mini snow globes. That doesn’t take up a whole lot of space and I have pretty much stopped after I have collected one for each holiday.


My son however has started a collection of nutcrackers. He started it when he was younger. Now that he is older, I am not really sure what the continued attraction is. Is there something wrong here that a teenage boy likes to collect nutcrackers? Don’t get me wrong he has many other collections of stuff that I find very manly. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.


I’m certainly not putting down anyone’s collections, just curious on how some people get sooooooo out of control and or obsessed with collecting.

Blog Header Illustrations

Here are a couple of illustrations I was commissioned to do for this blog.

Cheater

What does “that” word mean to you?

To me, it's all around b a d!
Why do you think people freakin do “IT”?
Care to take a guess?


There are all kinds of reasons ppl cheat and honestly cheating is right up there with lying, because you are lying at some point if you cheat. That is a fact, not a personal opinion.


Did you know that the majority of Americans think that "anything goes", as long as you are practicing safe sex.  This is the kind of world we are raising our kids in.


Top excuses/reasons for cheating.
-unsatisfied sexually;
-emotionally unsatisfied;
-the challenge or the thrill;
-mid life crisis;
-sexual addiction;
-alcohol;
Anyone who uses these excuses are just trying to justify their reason for cheating.

Top Warning Signs- that a friendship is heading towards an affair
-sharing “too much” with the opposite sex that isn’t your significant other
-Looking forward to seeing/spending time with someone of the opposite sex, other than your significant other
-Hiding a friendship from your significant other
See a pattern here?

The reason I would like to focus on this is to understand.
I personally know, men and women who have cheated on their spouses/significant others. You would like to think that if someone is so important, and you went as far as to marry them, why would you risk it all? Seriously, it is a BIG freakin risk. You can lose a lot if you get caught. Yet, people do it everyday.

We as a society have such short term memories. That we do the dirty deed and then a short time later we have forgotten about it, therefore we shouldn’t be held accountable for our actions.
 There is a growing number of websites out there, which are dedicated to cheating/affairs/open marriages, which can be all exciting for awhile until you get caught. The power of temptation lies in the pleasure that it provides.  Well heck who doesn’t like pleasure. Right.

Would surprise you to know how many members join these sites or even how many of these members live in your area. Something I personally do not want to know.


However, I do know these facts, because I have ppl I know that do visit and participate in those kinds of websites. That is their choice.

Then there is the recent popular social networking that has gotten way out of control. Yes, I do realize that just because you are on the internet doesn’t make you a cheater or sexually immoral, but it is a form of temptation. If you are one of those ppl who can’t handle/control yourself, then why the hell would you visit those sights to begin with?

Let me just say that not everyone cheats. But there are a million out there who do.

I know that no one is perfect.  I, of all people have definitely not been perfect. But this isn’t really about being perfect it’s about sinning. Everyone has a choice; its just one of those choices is against Gods will. So what ever happened to those moral standards we should be living by?

I’m not judging anyone,

I just want ppl to think

about what they will be sacrificing

if they do

cheat.

Is this a test?

Is this just a test, cause if it is I certainly have failed.

Why is it that when you feel absoulutely at your worst and you have asked your children to behave, they act "their" worst???

I know being in demand is part of being a parent but come on, seriously is there never a moment alone?(evidently not, until they move away)
I know that I am not the only parent that has been on the receiving end of this kind of behavior. I have even gone as far to take a poll (Really, just so that I can know that I’m NOT freakin crazy).

Its not even just when your sick. Honestly, its really anytime that they don’t have 100% of your attention, the unacceptable behavior starts.

Here is what the majority of the parents use for discipline in this situation.
5% of the parents ignore them
15% of the parents bribe their kids to go away
70% of the parents make empty threats and then forget to follow thru
50% of the parents say “wait until your father gets home”.
60% of the parents beat their kids ass.
30% of the parents try and use the “time out” chair (and I say try, cause 90% of the time it doesn’t freakin work).
Wait, I think that is more than 100%. Oh well, you get my point.


So which parent are you?
I guess that really depends on what generation you are from. I know that from my generation, you got your ass beat if you didn’t behave. However, in disciplining my own children I have tried all things. Finding that not just ONE thing worked. In the end we resorted to measures that they don’t teach you in all those useless parenting books. You know like, time outs, bar of soap in your mouth, taking away things (like bedroom doors), spanking, and many others(too many too list) So mostly it was trial and error.


I know this leads you to believe that my children were wild and unruly, (sometimes) but honestly they were pretty good kids, its just I wasn’t really the best or most qualified mom. So I struggled thru most of it. On top of that, the majority of my kids lives  (when It mattered most) I was single parent. Thats not an excuse, but made it definately a challange.


Don’t worry I never did anything cruel or unusual to my children. But let me just say that duck tape works really well when your tired of hearing them talk back to you. (just kidding)
But hey, my kids survived so I must have done something right. Ha!
But back to the BIG question. So WHY do they act out when you need them to behave???
I'm still not sure, but  I'm begining to think its got something to do with a control issue.

 

Any thoughts?