Make the pain go away

Gobble Gobble- w a y later

Every year my mom has thanksgiving at her house. We have all our family over, even extended family. 
Which means lots and lots of people.
There is all kinds of "fun" going on at her house. 

It is a super good time. Ok maybe just a tad bit of drama, but who doesn't have that.

Then after dinner we all head down to the plaza to watch the lights turn on.  Its sweet.

It is a tradition. We are big on family traditions.

This year things have been tough between the sportsman and I. Emotionally I have struggled. 
When its thanksgiving time you should be all happy and things should be wonderful. You’re with family. Right.
The love should be poring out of you right?

I was hoping that I could pull my head out of my ass for a short bit and make it a special time for my sportsman.

He so deserves it. I know.

So just like every year the sportsman and I do the whole Black Friday shopping thing.

Why do we do this? I just don’t know.  I 've been sick lately. Not sure its such a good idea this year.

I swear it never fails the week before tempretures are on the 50’s then the week of Thanksgiving they drop to the 20’s. WTF?

Even with multiple layers, I freeze my ass off.

So I sat down with the sportsman prior to the big day, to discuss our plan of action for the shopping this year.

AS I have spoken of before. The sportsman has an entirely different view of spending than I do.
It does not matter if it’s a birthday, anniversary or holiday. 
Less is more he says. LESS IS MORE.
WTF!

I disagree, but whatever.

The whole conversation took a turn for WTF, I don’t know.
B A D.

What should have been a quick chat about what presents we were going to purchase, ended in he doesn’t trust me and he knows I cheated on him in June this year.

Which by the way I totally denied and will continue to deny till the day I die.

Right or wrong .

So now you can see what kind of thanksgiving I potentially could of had.

A suck ass one.

IF wasn't for my sweet sweet charms and I worked my magic, well really my red lace panties from Victoria Secret worked some magic, so that the sportsman would feel a little more secure.

Along with some sweet ass sex on the table where the board games were being played.
Now I don't know if he walked away 100 percent more secure but he sure was satisfied.

AS for the spending. I did buy some stuff. There were lots of awesome deals out there.
and remember life is too short to just sit on your money.

I say spend- spend- spend.
Like there is no tomorrow.

You know when you go to heaven you can’t take any thing with you.
SO why not enjoy it now.
What cha waiting for?
Any big purchases for you this year?

Sometimes Emotions get in the way of living life

Sometimes your emotions get in the way of rational thinking.

You get soooooo wrapped up in your
Freakin f e e l i n g s  that you can’t possibly see clearly.

I have had this problem as of late.

It seems I have gotten a little off track with things because of my feelings.

I am not the overly emotional type of person in general.

I think it’s been a combination of things.

-“him”

-hormones

-sportsman

-mean people

-jackass contractors

-hormones

-kids

-upcoming holidays

I should have just said all of the above has caused me to be emotional. I just don’t normally allow my feelings to get soooooo out of control and take over my life.

I am one of those people that says “Whatever” alot.
 Not so much cause I don’t give a shit but more along the lines that I just am not gonna get worked up about shit that I have no control over.

I will talk about it, but I don’t get all emotional about it.

But

Lately for whatever reason I have allowed my emotions to take over my life.

Well not anymore.

I am BACK!

To the normal ME.

No more cry baby bullshit going on here.

You can count on that.

The bitch is back !

Learn it, live it, love it!

Death of a Friendship- Cont.

Earlier this year (approx. 6 months ago) I spoke about the, "Death of a friendship".
If you need a refresher you can go HERE.

I originally chose to end this friendship due to the stress it had me under. Stress is not good for my disease. It's actually very very b a d.

It seems just like yesterday I was dealing with this issue.

The possible loss of this good friend, due to some hurt feelings and ultimately the severe stress of it all.

Don’t worry, if you read back HERE, this friend did not literally die.

Just our  f r i e n d s h i p.

It was not looking too good,  then there was a discussion.

So things were a little better for awhile. So I thought. Then it slowly seemed to slip away.

I tried, Honestly I did. To make things better. I think sometimes however when the damage is done, its hard to ever go back to the way it was. Wouldn't you agree?

I would send him FB messages,to call me. I would ask how he was doing. I would invite him out. I put alot of effort into trying to repair our friendship.

I got minimal effort on his part.  In my world a friendship is a 50/50 thing. You give , I give.

I am not one to give everything and receive nothing in return, but excuses.

So anyway, on multiple occasions I have invited this friend out to meet me. Always an excuse, as to why he couldn’t make it. I get it, he has a family and responsibilities. But come on, every single time. Really?
My thought is if he really wanted to come out to meet me and hang out then he would of made it happen. Am I wrong here?

So this last week I made my final attempt to invite this friend out. The “girls” night out to be exact.
He said he would be there. 
I sat there with the girls for hours, waiting for him to show. Then at midnight (yes I waited till freakin midnight) I gave up hope and went with the majority vote of the girls to head to “that” bar, you know the one I wasn’t even supposed to go to.

I did not text or call my friend, as he does not have a cell for me to contact him.  So I assumed that if he wasn’t there at midnight he probably wasn't coming.

Wouldn’t you assume the same thing? Is it just me, or who heads out to a bar at midnight?  To my knowledge he wasn’t already out.

My initial thought was, he had never really planned on meeting me. He was just blowing smoke up my ass.

Which hurt my feelings. I thought we had patched things up. Then I got mad. WTF!

I guess my friendship wasn’t all that important after all.

So the girls head out to the “meat market” as the sportsman likes to call it.

And I find out that my friend showed up right after we left.

(Let me put it out there that I didn’t know this little fact till the next day)

So anyways, after I got a ride back to my car (at the original bar), from the “meat market” bar.  I decided that the night was still young and I would run by my other friends house.
I only got to briefly chat with him at the bar earlier in the night.

It was after all a girls night out.

So after I got to my car, I texted him to see where he was.

I was in luck, he was leaving the bar and heading home. 
He asked me to meet him there.

Excellent timing, and what a great way to end the night.

So I headed over to my friends house, and waited in the driveway for him to show up.

Now I knew he would have a friend with him. Cause I talked to both of them at the original bar.

What I had not expected was my “other” friend that I was supposed to meet earlier in the evening, (that never showed) to also be in the car with them.

Ohhhhhhhhh, holy shit! That is sooooooooooooo not good.

If you read back to HERE, in the original “Death of a Friendship” . 
You will see that these are the same two men.

And

My friendship with the 2^nd guy is the reason for the death of

my friendship with guy no 1.

So you can imagine the guilt I felt seeing him get out of the car and here I am at our mutual friend’s house, in the middle of the night.
I stayed for awhile. Thats all I will say.

I won't give you details, cause that is not what this post is about. I will just say that my friend is back to not speaking to me again.

I have now come to the conclusion that I just can't worry about him anymore. Or try and patch up this friendship on my own. If he is done, then so am I.
I don't beg . Ever. For anyone.

It makes me very sad to say this, but I just can’t carry the load anymore. I will only try for so long before I call it quits.
I said it before and I will say it now, friendships shouldn't be this difficult to maintain.

So heres Goodbye, to a great guy.

I wish him well, honestly I do.

 It's just too bad

he couldn’t forgive me

and move past all this.

Good luck old friend.

F Bomb, The Kittycat has a potty mouth

As of recently I have had quite the potty mouth.
Like a freakin sailor.

Normally I would only drop the "F " bomb if I was REALLY pissed off about something.

Well, it seems as of late I must be real angry, about something.

 Since I use it all the damn time.
Angry about what?
I do not know. I don’t feel like I'm pissed off all the time. Maybe here and there. Is it subconcious?

I have been disappointed lately in some of the things that have happened in my life. but then again isn't everyone disappointed now and again with life.
No one is happy all the time.
Is my increase in foul language due to less church attendance?

Not sure.
I can say with cetainty that I don’t hang out with any sailors.
Where is all this anger coming from?
I think I need some intervention.
Of some sort. Any suggestions?

When I was growing up we weren’t even allowed to tell someone to shut up.  
That was  like saying the F word.

Who have I become? As of late?
Why am I allowing myself to be so angry?
and what is the issue that is pissing me off?
Is this about "him"?
I just don't know. It's something to ponder on.
If it is, when will it stop being about "him"?

I tell other people all the time that life is too short, so enjoy it to the fullest. Right?

SO why then am I not enjoying it myself? To its fullest.

Kittycats on a short leash

I can tell you after last weekend the sportsman may

n e v e r let me out of the house again, much less ever go to a girls night out. Honestly, if he lets me out of his sight it will be a fucking miracle.

It wasn’t so much that I was out till 2:40am, which I never stay out that late.

I am normally in bed by 9pm most nights.

It wasn’t so much that he really didn’t know where I was the whole time. (as it should be)

The big thing that pissed the sportsman off was a particular bar I went to. He had told me up front not to go there and I went anways. It wasn’t my plan. I went with a group of girls. I was not driving my own car. So I can't really be to blame.

Ultimately I could have called it a night when the girls left the one bar to go to the bar I wasn’t allowed at. But I was having fun.

I thought what the hell. How bad can it be.

I mean really. Arent all bars pretty much a meat market?

Besides, does the sportsman not remember who he is married to. If I don’t want you to fuck with me, then you WON’T fuck with me. 

Plain and simple.

Of course if I do, you will know it.

wink wink.

The fact is, I hardly ever go out with the girls. So I should take advantage and live it up while I can. Right?

Did I mention that I only had to pay for 2 drinks the entire night.  Of course I only drank a total of 2 margaritas and 3 beers.

That’s always nice , cause alcohol in bars is freakin expensive.

So as of now, I am not allowed to go out anymore, truth is I can fucking go out anytime I want. Only if I want my marriage to end.

So I am good for the moment. At staying home near the sportsman, where he can keep a close eye on me.

Till next time girls.

Cause you know there will be a next time.

That is a freakin guarantee.

KittyCat FEET- HNT

It's nothing new that I have a foot fetish.

So this weeks photos are inspired

by my LOVE

for Feet.

Enjoy!

HaPPy HNT!

Please take time to stop over at OHNT

to check out the awesome photos.

H A P P Y    T H A N K S G I V I N G

Screwed, and not in a GOOD way

So not too long ago we had a storm come thru our area that jacked up our house.

The roof and siding to be specific.

So we did what all home owners due. We turned in a freakin claim.

To get our shit fixed.

Our roof was due to be replaced anyways, so it all worked out great.  Or did it?

We decieded to go with a company that our insurance “guy” trusted (a good friend of his).

 Which turned out to be a fucking nightmare.

Why do the good guys always get screwed?

I have never…………………………….

Had to put up with the bullshit that went on with the lead guy from this company.

WTF! Seriously dude. 

Get your shit straight!

IF you sign an god damn contract with me, you can’t come back and say oh yeah I need another $800 fucking dollars. That shit does not fly with me.

I have to say that normally I take charge of shit. Cause bascially I am a bitch.

 I get shit done. I am a no nonesense kinda gal.

However this time I let the good ole sportsman take the lead.

It’s good for his ego once in awhile to be in charge.

I learned that from my book.   : )

Honestly I think the sportsman did everything he could with this guy. I wouldn’t have done anything different. Sometimes you just have a company that wants to fucking screw you.

So in the end, this company after a month of waiting around and false promises and a singed contract, they backed out. WTF?

So we had to go find a new contractor.  With the upcoming winter weather time is limited to get this shit done.

So far everything is going well with the new company and I havent had to kick anyones ass yet.

I honestly don’t need anymore stress added to my freakin life!

I will be following this up with “Mean Streak”, cause this kittycat can be a real bitch.

In the bedroom with KittyCat

The sportsman rocked it .

B I G time. In the bedroom. 

Can I get an amen!

I can’t really give you full details, cause that would just be w r o n g.

Now wouldn’t it. wink ,wink.

So to say that I’m a little giddy with joy is an understatement.

 

I have been waiting for ev e r  for this to happen.

If you don’t believe me you can ask the Jersey Girl.

She knows how monumental this was.

Not 1, Not, 2 but 3

So recently, for the first time the sportsman took charge. Not in a rough way, but in a rough gentle way. Yes, there is such a way.

Even thinking back (right now)to that moment in order accurately share my experience with you, I get a little tingly inside. 

Yes, it was that g o o d.

It's official, the sportsman is a RockStar in the bedroom.
Ok , well this one time. (hoping for more in the future)

Did I say that there were THREE O’s involved? No?

Well there was. That hasn’t happened in a very long time.

No one has been that amazing. In a very long time.

Did I mention that it last 45 minutes? NO?

Well, Ummmmmm it DID!!!!!

Can you say holy cow! No holy shit batman!

So back to that moring. The sportsman was amazing.

Now I don’t want you to think that cause I am making such a BIG deal about this that the sportsman prev. sucked. 

He most definitely did not.

We just have had some small issues in the bedroom as of late.
Ok for the last year. But who is keeping track.

It has made me really really sad though.

So maybe this will help you in understanding my excitement.

We were laying in bed, the light partially coming thru the windows.

There was no talking, just his fingers touching me all over.

He told me, it was “his” day.

Not sure what that ment, I just went along with it.

Honestly in the back of my mind I was already mentally preparing myself for disappointment.

Yes, I know not the best attitude to have, but shit its all I got.

Let me just say the sportsman headed “downtown”, where he did some of the most incredible things that you only dream about.

I can’t remember the last time I have felt soooo alive, to have someone’s tongue touch my inner thigh.

Electric volts were sent all thru my body.

I completely forgot about the disappointment previously on my mind.

WTF, at this point I couldn’t remember my own name.

If you know what I mean.

AS we moved all over the bed and all around the room, my body ended up in every position you can imagine. It’s a good thing I work out, and my body is very flexable.

When it was all over, I laid there on my stomach, as the sportsman continued to kiss my body. All the way down my back, across my ass, down my thigh, stopping at my toes.

Can I just say WOW!

It took me awhile to catch my breath, so I layed there for a bit.

It almost felt like a dream, it was so unreal.

Who was that man in MY bed?

Was that really the sportsman?

Cause I sooo need

that guy

to come back

 and visit me

again.

For Women Only

I like to think I know alot about MEN.
But I really do not.

I bought this book over a year ago. I bought it with the intent to better understand my sportsman.
And well men in general.

It truly was an eye opener. It is for real when they say that men and women think differently. 
 It is soooo true.

Reading this book helped me see the sportsman in a new light.

I had no idea the effect of things (I had said or done), had on the sportsman.
Understanding men is a big part of having a successful relationship.

I can say that I changed my ways for awhile.

 I really tried hard.  To watch the things I said to the sportsman.

I wanted things to be better between us.
Then "life" happened and I got busy and forgot all that I had read.

I bring this book up now, cause I found it again when I was cleaning last weekend.  Seems funny. Of all times for this book to resurface.
Is it a sign?

That I need to read it again?

Anyways I thought I would share the book with you, since it did have a big impact on me when I originally read it.

You should totally check it out.  There are also books just for men and then there are ones for teens and even discussion books.

I read a lot of the other ones while sitting in the book store, that way I could make a better decision on which one was right for me at the time.

If you do pick one up, I would love to hear what you think. 

Things that make the KittyCat Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I love music.  

I really L O V E music!

I love all types of music.

It is a big part of who I am.

So I though I should share with you the music that really gets me going.

 I listen to these bands every single day.  All day.

They are my all time fav's.  I have seen at least half of them in concert and would love to see them again.

Rush-

I love this band. It was the first band I ever saw in concert. Even though it’s supposed to be a “guys” band, (which I don’t get)I love them anyways . Geddy, Alex and Neil enough said.  Awesome!There is just something about Geddy Lees voice. And then there is Neil Peart, what an amazing drummer. In my opinion there is no other as great as him.Did I say I love this band? Did you know that Geddy and Alex have been good friends since grade school?

They are my all time fav. I really like a lot of their older music. I saw them in concert this summer, 2^nd time since I originally saw them back in the 80’s.

Godsmack-

There is just something about Sully’s voice that turns me on.

 Plus he is so very sexy, even if he isn’t very tall. I love ALL of their music. I went to see them this summer in concert, but they were the last band of the day and I was pretty wiped out( I mean drunk and tired) by then, so I would love to see them again.

Five Finger Death Punch-

Now even though this band is a heavy metal band, they do have some softer songs. The lead singer “Ivan” is sooo amazing.  He is a great guy. I love to watch him on stage, plus he is sexy as hell. I have seen them in concert twice this year.

Led Zeppelin-

Older band but classic. They have rocked it for years and are still amazing. If they ever toured again, I would totally go see them. Even though Bonham is no longer with us.  I would still love to see them in concert.

AC DC-

I have been listening to these guys since I was 15 years old. LOVE their music. Saw them in concert last year, still rockin it even at their age.

 I mean come on who doesn’t love to watch Angus Young play? He is freakin awesome. Look at Brian Johnson, even though he has only been around since the 80’s he is still a kickass singer.

That’s it for now.

That is my top list of shit
I listen to every day.
So what is on your list?
That you listen to religiously ?
I wanna know.
 and
why are they so special.

HELLO, KittyCat

Hello, meet KittyCat.
Shes l o v e s to lick
and to be licked.

Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Ohhhhhh, and to be stroked.

Now that I got your attention.

I was going to give you a little bit of history lesson today. On kitty cats.
Meow!
Well really the Egyptian cats, Bast and Sekhmet.

The cat is just one of the many Egyptian gods.

Sekhmet

It is probable that many of modern Indo-European names for the cat are derived from the word utchat: cat, chat, cattus, gatus, gatous, gato, katt, katte, kitte, kitty, etc

From "Pasht" we get the remaining Indo-European names for the cat: pasht, past, pushd, pusst, puss, pussy, as well as the word "passion".

Bast and Sekhmet were two Egyptian Cat Goddesses.

Bast

Goddess of Sensual Pleasure. (that is soooo me!)

Bast is the Egyptian Goddess with the body of a beautiful young woman and the head of a cat. She held many, sometimes contradictory, roles.
These beliefs were not all necessarily held at the same time, or in the same place. Beliefs shifted over several millennia, and over vast geographical distances, eliefs shifted over several millennia, and over vast geographical distances.

Bast is the Goddess of cats, the rising sun, the moon, truth, enlightenment, lesbians, sexuality, physical pleasures, fertility, bounty, birth, plenty, the household and protector of the home, civilization, creation, music, dance, the arts, hemp, and battler of serpents which attack the sun god.

Bast also represents the Maiden aspect of the Triple Goddess.

She was viewed as the beneficent side of the lioness-goddess Sekhmet.

Sekhmet

Sekhmet (Sakhmet) is one of the oldest known Egyptian deities. Her name is derived from the Egyptian word "Sekhem" (which means "power" or "might") and is often translated as the "Powerful One".

Sekhmet (AKA Sekhmet, Sakhmet, or Sekhmet the Destroyer) is the Goddess of sunset, destruction, death, rebirth and wisdom. She is also sometimes defined as a warrior or huntress goddess.

The cycle of life and death was created when the primeval Goddess Sekhmet-Bast divided into two sisters.  Another legend regarding her origins is that she was created by Ra from the fire of his eyes as a creature of vengeance to punish mankind for his sins.

Later, she became a peaceful protectress of the righteous, closely linked with the benevolent Bast.

Sekhmet is typically shown as a black skinned woman with the head of a lioness. Her eyes and hair are often orange or red. Sekhmet represents the Crone aspect of the Triple Goddess.

Halloween was originally celebrated
as the Feast of Sekhmet and Bast.

Hmmmmmmm, I wonder which kittycat I am?